SPEW
by ObsessiveBookworm
Summary: The missing chapter of the Order of the Phoenix. A Dramione one-chapter thing. I’m not a particular fan of DracoXHermione, but when inspiration strikes you can only get out of the way very fast or comply. I complied. Read and review please!


Description: A Dramione one-chapter thingy. I'm not a particular fan of DrXHr, but when inspiration strikes you can only get out of the way very fast or comply. I complied.

Disclaimer: None of these characters or settings belong to me. Unfortunately. I wonder how much the legal deed to Harry Potter would cost?

* * *

**The Missing Chapter of the Order of the Phoenix**

Gryffindor Common Room - Late Evening

**oOoOo**

"This is stupid, Hermione."

"No Ronald, it isn't."

"Look Hermione, I have to say I agree with Ron, this is a bit stu-"

"No Harry, this is not stupid, it's a valuable educational exercise."

"Educational it may be..." Ron looked at Harry, then back at Hermione. "When you said _Sponsored SPEW Scrub of the Gryffindor Common Room_ I didn't think you actually meant... well..." Ron gestured at the floor.

"You should listen. I do."

"So do I, but I couldn't..."

Harry kept quietly scrubbing at the floor, holding back the tide of capital letters which were yearning to be yelled.

"Ronald, it is partly your fault that we are doing this, so do not complain."

"_My_ fault?"

"Yes. You should have told Fred and George not to keep demonstrating those Puking Pastilles!"

"You handled it fine by yourself! Besides, it was Neville who knocked the bucket over!"

"Yes, but if you had come with me to stop them beforehand we might not be cleaning up all the food which the house-elves had slaved over!"

"Well, you tell Fred and George not to eat so much!"

Harry let the familiar banter wash over him. He was used to it. He scrubbed at a recently digested and even more recently spewed-up mushroom that was stuck to the floor. His thoughts wandered on to the locked door dreams, as they did so often when he was bored. What was behind there? Something kept in greatest secrecy. A monster that had to be hidden from Hagrid lest he adopt it? A piece of Hermione's homework that got a T? He didn't dare imagine.

Ron's triumphant whoop cut through his troubled thoughts. Harry looked up to find Ron was dancing carefully over the ...waste and then round the common room, waving something that looked like a woolly bladder. It took Harry a moment to realize why.

"I found a hat! I found a hat!" Ron narrowly missed slipping in the ...mess and skipped over to Hermione. "By your rules, I'm free!"

"I... suppose so, "said Hermione grudgingly. She resumed mopping as Ron bounced away up the stairs. She and Harry continued in silence for another few minutes. Without the usual arguments there was an uncomfortable pause. Then Harry broke the uneasy silence.

"Hermione, look, this is really disgusting, and I've got that essay from Snape to do, could we just let the house-elves..." Before he finished he knew it was hopeless.

"No Harry. This is important. Very important. Maybe even more than homework."

Harry dropped his brush. He stood up and backed away from Hermione, shocked at what he had just heard.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HERMIONE?" he yelled, as the Caps Lock key finally broke through his defenses. He was so un-nerved by what Hermione has said he ran away up the stairs without a backward glance.

**oOoOo**

He collapsed onto his bed, shaking. The moon shone in through the window. Hermione had kept them at it for hours. Harry removed his glasses, then without even trying to clear his mind of the fear that it wasn't Hermione, it was a Death Eater under the effects of a Polyjuice Potion, he fell into the familiar dream...

Downstairs Hermione swished her mop around half-heartedly. It was less fun when there was no-one to insist it was fun to. She was considering going to bed when she noticed the mess, neé potato, on the carpet. Feeling slightly queasy, she turned and found she had run out of Mrs. Skower's Magical Mess Remover.

"Bugger." She couldn't leave that mess for the poor elves. She would have to fetch some more from a broom cupboard somewhere. But it was 11:00 at night.

Hermione crept up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. They were all asleep. She crossed to Harry's trunk and took out the Marauder's Map. The Cloak was not there. This was because Harry slept with it under his pillow, but Hermione didn't know that. The Map would have to do.

She snuck back down to the common room again, and unfolded the parchment. This was the bit she had always hated. Touching the parchment with her wand she said: "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Nothing happened. Hermione cursed, and uncrossed her fingers.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." This time ink lines spread out from the tip of her wand, weaving a map of the castle. She scanned it. The closest broom cupboard was near the Snape's classroom, and there was nobody around. Hermione, Map tucked under one arm, climbed out of the portrait hole. The Fat Lady did not wake her dress rustled as she stirred in her sleep, making Hermione jump.

She was not a natural rule breaker, but necessity over-ruled her strict morals. She headed for the dungeons. After taking a rather long detour to avoid Peeves and a narrow escape from the Bloody Baron, Hermione arrived, triumphant, at the broom cupboard. Tucking the map under her arm, she tried to carry as many bottles as she could.

Fighting with the awkwardly-shaped containers, she did not notice someone lurking in the shadows. She tucked the purple bottles into her robes, and only glancing down at the Map occasionally, returned to the Gryffindor tower. There were no mishaps and she was contemplating how to wake up the Fat Lady to get inside, a detail which she had not considered previously and now wished she had, when a cold voice spoke out of the darkness.

"Why, Granger, you aren't going to try to wash the mud off you with that stuff, are you?"

Hermione jumped. Standing behind her with a smug expression on his pale face, was Malfoy.

"What are you doing out of bed, you creep?"

"None of you business, Muggle. Do you want me to report you?"

"Shut it, slimeball," snapped Hermione, but she could not disguise the flicker of fear that crossed her face.

"Getting angry, are we? What are you going to do to me, you filthy little Mudblood?"

"Wash your mouth out!" Hermione whipped out her wand. "Scorgify!"

Malfoy's sneering mouth filled with pink foam. His eyes rolled with shock, and he doubled up, spitting out froth. Hermione watched as he choked on soap suds, then, face red, he keeled over and lay still on his back.

"Oh _shit_!" exclaimed Hermione, for want of a better word. Bugger didn't seem quite adequate enough in this situation. She panicked. Books were no help in a situation like this. It was Harry who was good at the life-saving stuff, as he kept reminding her in capital letters. Where was he when he was needed? As Hermione looked at the un-breathing Draco, her Muggle background took over. Choking. There was only one thing she could do. And she didn't like it.

**oOoOo**

Upstairs in the boy's dormitory, Harry was climbing out of bed. He was still asleep, deep in the dream with the mysterious door. He sleep-walked out of the dormitory and into the common room. Heading for the portrait, he reached out for what he thought was the locked door. He pushed it open; it wasn't locked! In his dream he had a brief sight of sparkling, glittering walls, then reality kicked in. Harry woke up, with one foot out of the portrait hole, and his jaw dropped. Hermione. And Draco. Draco and Hermione. Hermione and Draco...

As the first breath of air had rushed into his body, Draco opened his eyes to Hermione's face. His eyes widened, and he turned aside and spat out the soap. Then he turned back to Hermione who was still staring at him. Draco saw Hermione's brown eyes filled with concern, as her shining hair spilled over her shoulders. How could he have not seen it before? She was beautiful. How could he have hated her all these years, and never seen what she really was?

Hermione that saw Draco's white face was flushed and alive, a strand of blond hair falling over those deep blue eyes. She suddenly felt the pain of all his cruel comments, felt regret at the punch she had sent at him in third year, felt longing for his pointed face. Then they fell into each other's arms, pressing their faces together with a passion that had been buried for nearly five years.

Harry stood behind them, mind reeling. His sleep-filled eyes could not take it in. It couldn't be happening; he must still be asleep. He ran back into the common room, but in his confusion he took the wrong staircase. As he ran up the girl's stair way, the wailing, klaxon-like sound filled the common room, and he slid back down to a heap on the floor. Boys ran down the stairs, girls slid hurriedly onto the floor next to Harry.

"What happened?"

"What's going on?"

"Harry, why are you on the floor?"

Harry could only gibber and point at the portrait hole. The whole of the Gryffindor house moved towards the entrance, and a whispering spread among them.

"Hermione... kissing Draco... Draco Malfoy...sitting on the floor... kissing...Hermione and Draco..."

Hermione and Draco, engrossed in each other, had heard nothing. All they knew was they were together, they had wanted it for years, and now, finally, they were together. Ron, tall enough to see over the heads of the other students in front of him, felt anger and jealously well up inside him...

**oOoOo**

Well well. That was my first ever fanfiction.

It was _thrilling_, wasn't it.

I'm gonna go read POA. Again.


End file.
